A direct, honest and respectful conversation about sex, gender & body.

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Who I Follow

I define my sex, gender, body.  You define yours.

These words summarize the intention of this site.  There are no experts to tell us how to claim or identify our own sex, gender, body (sgb).

This url is the tumblr branch of - a community, collaborative blog, built in the same functional model of and  The site is open-invitation, meaning that anyone can register and post diaries.  This site has been built to serve as a public meeting place for honest and respectful conversations about the entire width and breadth of sex, gender, body. Topics will range from the intimate to the mundane, falling in love, looking in the mirror, workplace, health, advocacy, friendship, sex, identity, change, finances and the list goes on. 

Every person on the planet has a unique and rich life of experience and expression.  We all define ourselves as individuals in all aspects of our lives, including sex, gender & body.  These three areas are intertwined with many other aspects of our identity.

SGB challenges an assumption.  The primary, societal message about sex, gender, body is that there is one ‘good’ model exists: hetero male & female, married.  The message is that society benefits when we put ourselves into one of those two buckets and that relationship.  People who choose otherwise are on their own and either ignored or punished. 

The assumption is that ‘this is the way it always was’ and ‘the way it should be…for the good of us all’.

This model supposes that we act as a crowd of people all agreeing with each other, often knowing that the definition we are ‘signing up’ for is not at all who we are.  It is the belief that if we all say the same thing…do the same thing, then we will survive.  Often, it is painted in the reverse as ‘if we don’t all do the same thing, we will die.’  We are pretending to be the same and we know that we are not.  Violence, fear, shame, doubt and neglect are the fruits of this pretense.

I assert that this model is not the best option available.  We have something much more cohesive available: our shared humanity.  It is our greatest strength and a large reserve of it lies untapped. 

We may all arrive at a different place to answer the question of “Who am I?”  For us to take that answer and discard it for the answer society wants us to use, costs us as individuals.  It costs us our chance to give our very best to society.  It costs society too.  Our neighbors and friends miss out on knowing our very best and most honest selves. 

This tumblr shows naked bodies, uses foul language, talks about politics, celebrates life and rages against cruelty.  This can include all images and conversations about human bodies and minds.  We don’t believe in censorship of thought, action or body. Sometimes, a trigger warning on a body or a post becomes just that — so we won’t post a ‘trigger warning’ on anything, if the contributor put the trigger warning themselves, we won’t edit it either.

We’re not anti or pro any side in the trigger warning debate, rather we accept people in the exact terms they express themselves in.

We do understand that for some, trigger warnings are a part of safe internet engagement — we urge you to take care of yourself in any manner that you can and not follow this blog if need be.

see also: “why porn?" for more on why porn is included on this site.

Here is your FREE UNICORN:

(Image via macmcrae.com0 

Who I am.

My name is Arvan Reese. I have been blogging at my own personal site, The National Gadfly in September, 2008.  I have also been participating at collaborative blogs like The Motley MooseDailyKos, etc..  I love political conversations.  My real passion is around personal expression, personal freedom, personal rights and the over arching question of: How do we define ourselves as individuals and live together as a society? 

I’m just a person and who I am is in one sense, irrelevant.  I am no ‘expert’ on anyone’s experience, other than my own.  I choose not to blog anonymously for two reasons.  First, because I want a life where people are not forced to hide our personal sex, gender, body expressions.  The individual and society both lose when personal expression is repressed.  Second, some people will want to know who to contact in order to participate in this conversation.

I will be contributing thoughts on labels, rights, politics, individual expression, my own experiences and daily/weekly round-ups of sgb things around the globe.

How it happened.

SexGenderBody came about because I met Clarisse Thorn.  Clarisse hosts a sex+++ Film Series here in Chicago and we met because of that.  I offered this idea to her for the BDSM community that she is active in.  In the process, I sold myself on the idea.

How SexGenderBody works:

Submit content.  Write a comment.  Reblog.  Cross-posting is OK.

Who is welcome to write at SexGenderBody?

You. Everyone. Anyone that cares to engage in an honest, respectful conversation about sex, gender, body.

Some topics I already know that people will be writing about include: