state of the jesse address

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

state of the jesse address

so y’all may or may not remember the construction project that was a big part of why i’ve been useless for months. in case you don’t, or i didn’t explain it very well — it’s a geodesic dome greenhouse, the purpose of which is to house the pool for my aquatherapy. aquatherapy because if i have weight on my joints when i exercise i make it worse, so i gotta do it in zero-g.

well, the dome is structurally complete, and the pool is up, and filled, and the water is still really cold but getting warmer. i managed to do a bit of paddling around these past couple of days while it was filling, and it feels like it helped a little already. at least, i slept 12 hours a night two nights in a row, which was awesome. although i just got 6 last night, but it wasn’t pain that woke me up, just my bladder, so who knows, the sleeping problem may be over!

electrical and plumbing stuff is still happening off and on, and the floor inside the dome is dirt and gravel which needs to be flattened and then a deck built, and actually the floor of the pool is uneven and lumpy, and seebs is talking about draining the pool in a few weeks and flattening the ground better before putting it up again, which would mean a gap in my therapy, but possibly worth it for the long-term niceness of things. oh yeah, and the yard is a huge churned-up mess full of weeds, and there’s a huge pile of tree branches, and also a pile of gravel in the driveway that needs dealing with. and then once that’s all taken care of i need to somehow cause pleasant greenery to occur in the spaces that are not occupied by the pool itself.

so yeah, the aspie-crushing chaos is nowhere near finished.

but! the long climb uphill has begun. the pool exists. i can therapy! my willpower now has something to push against! THERE IS SOMETHING I CAN DO BESIDES WAIT. those of you who have never been injured or disabled may not understand what i’m talking about. or maybe you do; the feeling of helplessness and futility sucks no matter what the cause is. anyway, i’m not helpless anymore. it’s going to be a slow, hard push, but it’s a push now, and pushing is something i can do.

TL;DR: i’m still intermittently braindead and nonverbal, i’m still very tired, and i still have a lot of pain. but i’m sleeping better and my morale is much improved. big smiles! ^___________^

(ps also it’s a saltwater pool and the saltwater is so good for my skin i mean WOW. between that and catching up on my sleep, i look ten years younger than i did last week. no, twenty years. i look like i’m wearing this sad little mustache because i think it makes me look grown up, rather than because i’m the corrupt kung fu master with the bad fu manchu who gets beaten up in the third act.)