(Source: tearingdownthatfence)
That awkward moment when people tell a non-binary bisexual person that bisexuality is inherently binarist (without knowing their non-binary status).
REMEMBER: Don’t repeat stereotypes. Don’t believe lies. Only the Bisexual Community defines what Bisexuality is.
Jessie J, Cynthia Nixon and female bisexuality
What an odd world we live in where a woman can have a faithful same sex relationship for years but still be accused of being heterosexual because she identifies as bisexual, but when a man holds his friend’s hand or kisses him drunkenly, the very same people can declare him “obviously gay” …
By redefining every openly bisexual woman as a lesbian no matter what they say with their own two lips, and shushing bisexaul people out of a debate which is actually about them as well as about gay people, an important point about LGB pride gets lost …
When bisexuals speak about “choice” we don’t mean that we “chose” to be bisexaul, or that gay people could “choose” to be straight. We mean that some of us do have the “choice” of an opposite/[Ed Note: different] sex partnership, but so what? We want to be with the person we love, not the person that lets us claim straight privilege.
Thoughts on bisexuality and biphobia
I’ve been lucky in that I haven’t faced much direct oppression because of my pansexual identity. I was never bullied in school. I’ve always been very open about it and have never gotten my car vandalized or anything like that. I’ve never seen much biphobia around me. But I know it exists, obviously. I read Project Queer’s post about Dan Savage and his bigotry, and I was especially interested in reading about his biphobia. (I really liked this post from Greta Christina) It got me thinking a lot about biphobia in general and how it applies to me.
I really appreciate this post. It’s a breath of fresh air considering a lot of the animosity on Tumblr that goes around sometimes surrounding bisexuality and pansexuality.
Yes, biphobia hurts pansexuals too, but it seems like some don’t want to acknowledge that. I think it’s partially what fuels the need for some to pretend they are absolutely nothing like bisexuals at all, as if this will somehow magically exempt them from biphobia. Whenever pansexuals reinforce biphobia, I want to say “HI HELLO YOU AREN’T DOING YOURSELF ANY FAVORS” (but I rarely do, I usually just get shouty and ranty though I’m kinda over that). Society just kind of lumps us all together, so stereotypes toward one group can often impact another.
I don’t think there’s anything inherently contradictory or wrong about identifying as both bi and pan. I wouldn’t say they’re always more or less the same thing, but that’s because there are different ways to approach and interpret both of those identities and those ways may not always gel with each other, not because they are Completely Different Things as some insist. More often than not, the two overlap.
In general, I don’t believe that bisexual people are strictly attracted to cisgender men and women,
Plenty of us are attracted to binary and nonbinary trans people. And some of us are such people (people always seem to forget that and think only cis binary people are bi).
but I’m sure there are plenty of people in the world that are strictly bisexual.
It’s probably true that some are only attracted to two genders, but that’s not what the “bi” in bisexual refers to. I do question if there is anyone out there to which the specific number of genders they are attracted to is so important that they define their sexual identity around it alone.
The “bi” in bisexual refers the old belief that such people with multi-gender attractions were psychologically possessing both male and female characteristics (likewise, gay men were considered to be mentally feminine and lesbians were considered to be mentally masculine). It was borrowed from botany which used it to describe plants with both male and female parts. Look at a thesaurus and you’ll likely see that bisexual has intersex and androgyny listed as synonyms. This is why.
So whenever someone says “bisexual literally means you’re only attracted to two genders” I want to say “no, it literally means I’m a plant.”
if i had known about the plant related history of the word
i would have understood things much more clearly ages ago
egg on my face, etc
(Source: steenroller)
Being Bi is Awesome Because....: Letter to Mr. Savage~
I saw some people posting around Tumblr about their letters to him and I thought I put mine on here too:
Dear Mr. Savage,
I am a 21 year old, a very monogamous and loyal partner, and someone who is deeply offended by your biphobia. Just to give you a little glimpse into all the flaws I see with your arguments, I have complied a list of quotes or summaries of what you have said regarding bisexuals:
1. “Truth: Some people come out as bisexual and then change their mind later. It’s a lie.”-No, it’s not a lie. Discovering your sexuality, understanding what it means to be sexually attracted to someone, and figuring out your feelings when you have no one to support you or talk to you about it is a HARD PROCESS. If people are unsure whether or not they’re straight or gay or bisexual or asexual or pansexual or anything else, and they choose one label that fits them at the time but then discover more of their preferences later when they have time to sort through all of their thoughts, that doesn’t mean they LIED. And just because some people question their sexuality doesn’t mean ALL of us who identify as bisexual will “change our minds” later. You saying “some do” doesn’t mean “ALL DO”. So using an argument that states “some” in your reasons that bisexuality sucks is wrong.
2. “Most bisexuals end up in straight relationships.”-Who are you to say “most”? Have you met “most” of the bisexuals in the world? Have you talked to “most” of them? Have you seen their entire relationship history from birth until death? Because if you have, I commend you on doing the impossible. How DARE you say that any one is any less of a bisexual if they end up in a long-term “straight” relationship. Does it work the same way if they end up in a “gay” relationship? If you’re going to make the argument one way, you should be able to make it the other way, right? Right? But you can’t. Because it doesn’t make sense. You haven’t met “most” of the bisexuals of the world, so you have no right to make that kind of statement.
3. “A lot of people use bisexuality as a weigh-station or a pit stop.”-Discovering your sexuality can be hard, Mr. Savage. It can be very difficult when you are the only person who seems to feel this way and you have no one to turn to. So if someone identifies as bisexual while they’re trying to figure out what THEY really want and not what the WORLD really wants, that’s what happens. Does that mean ALL bisexuals use this as a pit stop? No. Just because some do doesn’t mean we all do. Just because some men beat women doesn’t mean ALL men beat women. Do you understand that?
4. “Good rule to stay away from bisexuals.” And “Get yourself a refillable Xanax prescription, or an actual lesbian girlfriend.”-I have to say this hurt most of all. I am a good person, Mr. Savage. I am a good person. I am loyal to my partners, I have never cheated or lied to them, I have given everything I’ve had for the people I’ve loved and you’re telling them to stay away from me? Or use drugs to deal with me? How dare you. How DARE you act like you’re such a supporter of equal rights when you shun an innocent group of people like that. I have had ENOUGH discrimination in my life and I don’t need anymore from an “ally”. From someone who claims to “speak the truth”. You speak no truth, you speak hurtfulness. Your words have made me sick and made me cry. YOU have made me lose some of the confidence I had in myself because you thought you knew it all.
Just because you went through a little “phase” of thinking you might have been bisexual doesn’t mean we all go through phases. This doesn’t mean the attraction I have for men AND women (an attraction I have had since I was in elementary school) will go away. YOUR experience doesn’t equal my experience. YOUR “truth” is biased and hurtful. You should be ashamed of what you have put me and many other bisexuals through with your messages.
I am willing to go on any TV show, radio show, internet site, and blog to help spread the message that being bisexual is OKAY. I will go head-to-head with you and I won’t be afraid. You spew hate and you know nothing of who I am or what I’ve come from or what is in my heart.
I have no idea if this message will reach you, but I hope to God it reaches SOMEONE.Reblogging this because I’m frankly tired of Dan Savage. I mean I’ve quit on the whole (white) “gay civil rights” bullshit, but his racism, transphobia, misogyny and now bi-phobia, apparently, needs to be called out.
BUT we shouldn’t forget that it’s definitely symbolic of how the larger “gay civil rights” movement is so racially privileged and heteronormative.
(Source: fuckyeahbisexualityisawesome)
