A quick list of reasons why the mainstream ‘gay’ rights movement isn’t doing its job properly….
(In response to anon asking if there were any groups I like/didn’t like)
1. “Gay” Rights – The mainstream movement is focused almost completely on the concerns and problems of cisgender gay men, cisgender lesbian women and that’s pretty much it. These concerns are obviously of importance but the fact that everyone else is ignored and deleted is not okay. The ‘gay’ rights movement will not actually be serving the purpose for which it was created until it is working for everyone under the LGBTQ+ umbrella.
2. Assimilation and the ‘right’ way to be gay - The gay rights movement can be defined by this:
The mainstream gay rights groups want everyone to believe that that is what being gay looks like. For many, that is indeed the life of choice, but what about the people who, like me, have absolutely no intention of choosing that life?
The gay rights movement tries to hide us from view, it pretends we don’t exist and then, when forced to acknowledge our existence, they just shit all over us, shaming us and telling us that we’re hurting their cause. This is a view that has wormed its way into the collective consciousness of many in the gay community; it’s dangerous and damaging to EVERYONE – I can’t count the number of times I’ve been told that I should ‘act straighter’ because I might be ‘supporting the stereotype’. FUCK THAT!
3. Racism – White people run the gay rights movement and focuses almost completely on the problems faced by other gay white people. Everyone else is pushed out, ignored and shouted down and drowned out.
4. Dan Savage – and everything Dan Savage related.
5. Marriage Equality – Marriage equality is a very important issue. It affects a massive part of our community however it’s certainly not the be all and end all and I wish the mainstream movement would stop pretending like it is. It’s understandable why it was chosen to be the staple of the movement – it’s a quantifiable thing, it presents clear victories and losses depending of legislative change. When same-sex marriage is legalised, a part of me worries that, due the movement’s focus on it, there will be an idea that homophobia and heterosexism no longer exist and they most certainly will.
Personally, I have absolutely no intention of ever getting married (seriously, it will never ever ever happen) and, just occasionally, I would like to here someone from the mainstream talk about people like me.
6. ‘Debates’ with homophobes – Everyone’s opinions are not equally valid. My opinion on being gay is infinitely more important than anything a heterosexual has ever said on the topic. Let’s acknowledge this.
7. It’s okay to tell homophobes to go fuck themselves – Let’s acknowledge this.
8. If you believe homosexuality or homosexual acts are sins, you’re just wrong – There’s nothing else to it. There is no problem with saying this. Why does the gay rights movement insist on saying ‘you are entitled to your belief, you just shouldn’t put it into law’?
9. Shitty catchphrases – For example, “Homosexuality exists in 450 species; which one is unnatural now?” No one should ever need to justify their existence by comparing themself to a wild animal. Besides natural does not mean something is okay.
These are the ones I could think of in 10 minutes. There are many, many, many more.
All of this is not to say that the mainstream gay rights movement has not had victories and is not doing some good work, but it needs to get its act together!!!
2012 Lesbian and Gay Rights in the World Maps
Maps from: IGLA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association)
For larger images, click on direct post and then click images.
Reading the story about Mitt Romney’s high school role as an alleged bully made me really sad. I was consistently picked on from 7th to 10th grade by the same three girls. It really really really sucked. I haven’t seen them since I left that high school (for reasons not related to the bullying), but if I did, I still don’t know if I’d be able to really forgive those classmates. I hope Romney’s apologies are sincere and not something he’s issuing to save face. If he did do these things, I really hope he remembers it one day. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, boy, girl, short, fat, or whatever — if you’re picked on, you don’t forget what happened. You just hope one day your bullies will realize what assholes they once were and learn never to treat people that poorly ever again.
A million expectations: I am a male, British Indian Muslim who is gay - Identities
Recently I’ve been thinking about how we seem to have so many identities or facets to our identity. Sometimes, these go hand in hand easily enough, but at times these clash to such an extent it causes a huge inner conflict. Trying to balance or reconcile these different identities can be a massive task, daunting, terrifying at times.
When I first came out, I convinced myself that being gay wasn’t going to be identity. It was just the tiniest part of me and it doesn’t matter. And while I wish that my sexuality would be irrelevant to both myself and the greater world, the fact of the matter is that it isn’t. I am and will be judged on my sexuality by a lot of people and one of the ways of combating that is talking out about it (if one feels like they want to and importantly they feel safe to do so).
My identities of being a male British Indian Muslim who is gay just doesn’t fit perfectly together for society. In fact, I have trouble understanding who I am myself a lot of times. One of the biggest issues for LGBTQ/queer people can be the acceptance of their family and friends. Having your whole world ripped away by vocalising just a few words can be a devastating thought. Bad family reactions can be traumatic and life threatening.
When influenced by religion and this adds extra distress for those coming out as they themselves are battling to accept their multiple identities themselves whilst battling with the world to continue loving them.
The idea of being damned to hell is something no person should ever have to go through. The last thing that people who are struggling with their gender or sexual identity is the thought of eternal damnation. It can have serious consequences for a person’s mental health at a time when people need support. Quite frankly, the bigotry in religious communities towards anyone who isn’t heterosexual can be absolutely horrendous. Things are changing in that respect, slowly, too slowly in my opinion. In my local community, I see nochange whatsoever. I guess I just don’t feel safe enough to talk about this issue. I sometimes feel selfish about that, but then I have my own safety as well as other peoples’ lives to think about.
I’ve perhaps gone off a little. What I want to say to people is that coming to accept yourself as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, pansexual + is a minefield. Not only do we have to contend with coming to terms with our feelings or dysphoria and worry about the reaction of other, we have to try and balance the numerous aspects of our identity to feel somehow, whole. That is just my opinion, but it’s a disconcerting feeling not being completely confident and comfortable with my religious/cultural upbringing and reconciling that with my sexuality. It somehow makes me incomplete at times, as if i’m still searching for the real me, the one that has the answers and thinks, “you know what Naeem, this is you!”
I’m not sure if that day will ever come, but it’d be nice to just know who I am and be happy with that person I discover.
Originally from:
Video added.
*This man, and people like him are evidence of my personal belief that religion is for the brainless.
I AM MAN: Black Manhood & Sexual Diversity
This is a very important documentary covering black masculinity and homosexuality within the black community in America - with a little insight into Africa too. Black masculinity has been constructed and deconstructed by white supremacist schools of thought as something that is a dangerous threat to the wider public. You only had to listen to the remarks David Starkey made about black masculinity on the BBC this week to know these attitudes are present here in the UK. As Dr Marc Lamont Hill rightly says even the black male body itself is considered something not worthy of dignity and respect and this is very clear in the culture of police brutality directed towards the male African-American community.
I also wanted to highlight Esther Armah’s comments on sexuality in Africa. I’m an African woman myself and I can relate to her comments about seeing young men in Africa hold hands and that not being sexualised in anyway. In Uganda boys hold hands all the time and because I have spent most of my life in London I always found it odd to see and even a bit uncomfortable because I was socialised into homophobia. I was at a dinner a couple of weeks ago and I was talking to a friend of mine from the Congo who now lives in London and then his friend came and sat down next to us. This other brother is originally from (North) Sudan and started rubbing his knee. I was asked ‘Why are you rubbing his knee??’ and the brother from Sudan read my discomfort and replied, ‘You’ve been in this country for too long’. And he was right. People always assume that the African is the violent homophobe, but as rightly pointed out in this video there are also external factors that have led to tragic cases such as that of gay rights activist David Kato being murdered in Uganda. For example, homophobia in Africa is funded hugely by fundamentalist Christian groups from America. Our legal systems that have criminalised homosexuality are also relics from our colonial past. All of these factors have to be addressed if people are going to be re-educated on sexual diversity. Sadly, progress is hindered by constant threats to black masculinity that leave a lot of black men feeling they have to affirm their manhood by living up to stereotypes in order to be accepted by their communities. Even if it leads to their emotional and physical destruction.
Please share this video and share your thoughts with me too. I’m always learning and this short documentary taught me some things.
Thank you for sharing.
I remember in 2005, opening a Kobena Mercer book and seeing a picture of two black, gay men and it blew my mind in the most amazing way. Like of course I knew black, gay men existed but from the limited exposure that I had (I was straight then), the representations were overwhelmingly white.
(Source: blackacrylic)
