The other night, I started thinking about how different I feel when it comes to being asexual.
We all know those people who will see someone they find attractive and popular and say, “I’d hit that” or “I would do unspeakable things to that person” or whatever, and if they were single and given the chance, they actually would.
I just, personally, cannot understand that. I don’t see how someone would want to fuck a celebrity they find attractive or hot. Just the thought of meeting my favorite musician or celebrity, and thinking about fucking them feels wrong.
Sure, I’m guilty of saying such things, but I’ve never really meant it. At some point in time, almost everyone hides their true sexuality as to not be judged or considered strange right?
If I were to ever meet my favorite musician or celebrity, I’d probably just be thinking, “I love your work, you’re an amazing person, let’s be friends” or something simple like that.
What I Do find attractive isn’t on a sexual level though. Soft and round features, smiles, eyes, and hair. Things that can make me smile or feel contentment.
And occasionally I will reblog something that someone else may find sexual. But for me, I admire beauty in all forms. I can reblog a naked girl or guy, and not feel anything sexual about it. I would simply look at it as an artist drawing a nude model; just an artistic nude.
But all of this makes me feel so detached from everyone else; I do not personally know anyone else who is asexual. Everyone that I am around talks about sex a good bit, and I usually just sit there all awkward and out of place. Sex, and the subject of, make me really uncomfortable and I have no one around me that can fully understand that.
My friends would poke fun at me, and call me me gay, in school when they asked who I found attractive and I had to Think of some kind of answer to give them. I began to listen to other people to find out who they found hot, so if I were asked, I would always have the same answer. Then they would say, “Really? Me too” and I’m just thinking “Imagine that..”
Telling people you’re asexual isn’t as well known as gay or bi; people actually know what gay and bi are. Asexual people get questions and things such as, “Isn’t that what cells do?” or “You have to be attracted to Someone though?” or “You’re just a virgin, you’ll change your mind once you do have sex.”
Despite all this, I have my days that I am proud to be asexual, yet I have other days where I still try to hide it. I want to be able to relate to those around me, but it’s kinda hard to, and often times I just plain can’t.
But on the plus side, sex does not skew my judgement and sex cannot be used as an incentive to get something from me or to get me to do something. :P