sexgenderbody

A direct, honest and respectful conversation about sex, gender & body.

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Posts tagged "Sex"
Asker Anonymous Asks:
I've been a long-time follower& you've taught me so much about myself& the world& I like to think that I've become a better person for it. One of the things you've taught me is loving, accepting& being nonjudgmental of different body types, but I'm still having trouble w/ accepting myself. I have an obsessive compulsive disorder that makes me pick at my skin. My breasts are so scarred w/ spots, I'm too ashamed to show them (even to my husband). Do you have any advice/wisdome for me?
sexgenderbody sexgenderbody Said:

Thank you for reading the site and your kind words.  Thank you even more for the generosity of your trust in asking such a personal question.

I will ask any readers to reply / reblog / answer with your own thoughts on this question.

From my perspective, I have some past history of picking / chewing at myself.  I had warts, fungal infections on my feet and hands for probably the first 15-20 years of my life.  I chewed / tore at my fingernails until I was at least 20.  I can remember the uncontrollable picking, as if it were 5 minutes ago.  Reading this from you, while your situation is not mine, I do feel some kinship with what you speak of.  I didn’t feel good about my body then or much in control of what I was doing to it.

Regarding how to approach / interact / be with your husband and your self in some way that includes this aspect of your life, I suggest the following for your consideration:

  • Communicate with him and yourself about how you feel about your body.  Journal your thoughts about the topic: include everything you can think of…how you feel about your self, your body, your husband, your marriage, your OCD and anything else that comes up.  Also spend time with him, talking about this topic and how it impacts intimacy for you both, and how it plays a role in defining your marriage.
  • He married you and you, him.  So, you are both in a relationship that already includes your OCD, your scars, your body.  None of these factors are new to who you are as an individual or couple.  He also has his own body and anxieties and they too are present in the marriage.  Inside the communications, you can create an overt, direct language between the two of you about your bodies and selves.  
  • Think of this as an opportunity for you both to re-invite yourselves and each other into intimacy, communication and an embrace of the “what’s so” of your marriage and selves.
  • Inside these communications, you can create the ways and means for each other to be with each other.  You can try out ideas with your clothes on before trying them out naked.  You may find that it helps you if he makes affirmations.  You may try wearing a blindfold while he touches and kisses you, with or without clothes on.  Who knows what the two of you will create?
  • Make sure that you have ‘safe words’ in place, so that you can control intimacy and maintain self care - both of you.

I hope this helps,

~arvan

slack-of-all-trades:

“Heterosexual” was actually coined in a letter at the same time as the word “homosexual,” [in the mid-19thcentury], by an Austro-Hungarian journalist named Károly Mária Kertbeny. He created these words as part of his response to a piece of Prussian legislation that made same-sex erotic behavior illegal, even in cases where the identical act performed by a man and a woman would be considered legal. And he was one of a couple of people who did a lot of writing and campaigning and pamphleteering to try to change legal opinion on that matter. He coined the words “heterosexual” and “homosexual” in a really very clever bid to try to equalize same-sex and different-sex. His intent was to suggest that there are these two categories in which human beings could be sexual, that they were not part of a hierarchy, that they were just two different flavors of the same thing.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
An old partner of mine is holding my wig hostage, and continues to post things about being a gender ally. I don't have enough money to purchase another one and I have asked her for it back but she will not give it to me. Is dealing with a breakup ever an excuse to ignore someone's gender for seven weeks
sexgenderbody sexgenderbody Said:

I cannot see any way in which her withholding of your wig is acceptable. 

The Last Taboo: A Documentary (2013)

The Last Taboo tells the gripping and heart-warming story of six people with various physical disabilities and an able-bodied partner who was in a relationship with one of them. These individuals share their perspectives on intimacy, relationships and what their experiences have taught them about themselves. The Last Taboo asks us to to step outside of our comfort zones in order to reconsider our misconceptions regarding disability, identity, gender, attraction, beauty and sexuality.

Documentary/Romance

Written and Directed by
Alexander Freeman

Produced by
Anne Scotina
Andrew Christenson
Alexander Freeman
Gabriella Iarrobino

Executive Producer
Eugene Doran Jr.

Music by
Miro Kepinski
Dan Barrenechea
Caleb Williams

Directors of Photography
Andrew Christenson
Daniel Olivares
Dilila McDonagh

Edited by
Ryan Egan

Assistant Director
Claire Reinganum

Poster Designers
Andrew Christenson
Caleb Williams
Alex Gonzalez

Marketing
Gabriella Iarrobino
Jennifer Gasbarro
Alexander Freeman
Laura Jane Brubaker

Sound Recordists
Colin Batty
Daniel Olivares
Dilila McDonagh
Andrew Christenson

Voiceover Recordists/Editors
Jack Goodman
Christina Hunt

Mastering Engineer
Christina Hunt

Boom Operators
Anne Scotina
Andrew Christenson
Gabriella Iarrobino
Christian Lyman
Ryan Cotter

Still Photographers
Mackenzie Woodcock
Kevin O’Such
Anne Scotina
Andrew Christenson
Gabriella Iarrobino
Jacqueline Brayman

Camera Operators
Nicola Chávez Courtright
Anne Scotina
Andrew Christenson
Dilila McDonagh
Peter McHugh
Ryan Egan

Gaffers
Kevin O’Such
Dilila McDonagh
Chris Lawless
Anne Scotina
Andrew Christenson

Production Assistant
Kelsey Anne Jance

Drivers
Anne Scotina
Caleb Williams
Andrew Christenson

On Set PCAs
Nicholas Perry
Caleb Williams
Andrew Christenson

Legal Consultant
John Freeman

Cast

Mazique Bianco-Himself/Sins Invalid Intern/Performance Artist
Gary Karp-Himself/Internationally Renowned Speaker, Trainer, Author of Disability & The Art of Kissing
Alexander Freeman-Himself
Lauren Beller-Herself/Special Education Teacher
Erin Pfeiffer-Herself/Able-Bodied Ex-Partner, Law Student
Matthew Clark-Himself/Filmmaker, Wheelchair Dancer
Morgan Jennifer-Herself/Street Team Member at Colours Wheelchair
Young Gary/Attacker-Anthony DiCostanzo
Young Mazique-Candace Brown

   Her name is Harvest.

   It takes a certain type of Catholic girl to grovel in an alley to pay the price for being a spoiled rotten bitch. A Chinese girl born into money not made in the communist homeland, but outside in the British influence which in itself is the corrosive religious colonial subjugation of the primal beast lying deep within the sleeping dragon. And the dragon is soaking wet.

   Living in Indonesia is different. Harvest is Chinese, so is her small weenie of a hubby. More of a wallet than a male, but still thinking he’s the one in control. It is taboo for a Chinese wife to even ponder sexual relations with those they see as a mere labor force. Another vice left by the English, a potion the dragoon was weened upon from her mother’s lace covered nipple. Darker skin isn’t the craving Harvest held but for now practice in the unholy rituals of the perversion of the primal need be fed. A sacrificial lamb to wallow in less then human, in her mind, sperm to coat and cover her spoiled rotten rich bitch cunt of a snobbish dog born to a cum hungry bitch. Salvation has a price and she dripped to swim in its humiliating orgasms. Something a Catholic school girl breathes in as evil but drip for when the lights go out, and the dorms hummed with shuddering hands. Until the day she becomes Sister Harvest, bred well for a purpose, to spread the word. Her husband, still the wallet. Until Harvest was free of even them, to serve the lusts My Dick stiffens for. To find salvation basking in My cum, her obsession.

   “Bless me Father, for I have sinned.”. With a finger inside her pink panties, underneath her too short skirt, she began to tell of things she knew was wrong but could not help committing. Harvest had no choice, salvation comes with a heavy price. She wore the sin of pride all over her firm body, and it showed when her double D cups were holding back her rock hard nipples. With each sentence she spoke, her finger went in deep, swam around inside her wet pussy then came almost all the way back out to feel the fresh air against her moist finger. Her confessor was well aware of her ways and his rigid member would throb with each word of lust she spilled, one word at a time, one drop of pure pussy juice at a time. The smell of a fuck rose as she continued, her confessor would leave his own puddle to match hers.

   “I was driving my car 5 minutes from home, Father, and I spotted a ricksaw driver. I park my car and called him to come over then I step out of my car and told him that he’s been chosen as a man that will shooting his cum inside me, in my mouth. He was so shock but I grab his Dick and I ask him if we can go somewhere quiet. He pointed to a security office, which is abandoned.

   I parked my car nearby and I follow him entering the small room. I was so nervous. I pull his pants down and start sucking his Dick. He had a way bigger Dick than my limp husband. The stench is bad but it makes me tingle with excitement. He was groaning a lot, and I sucked him while I played with myself, I told him that he can shoot his cum inside my mouth and I will swallow it, and I came before he did. When he shoots, his cum was so thick, so hard to swallow, and it’s really salty. He hold my head with both his hands and just forced my mouth agains his Dick. I tried so hard to close my lips so the cum wouldn’t spill out, Father. When he pulled out, I tried to swallow it all, and I could. Then I sucked his Dick again to clean it.

   Then I told him that I gotta go, he was already tired and not answering me, so I just left. I felt so nasty.

   I was walking to my car when 2 security guy spot me. They asked me why I’m here dressed like in a tight white t shirt, too short skirt, with a bra that showed and the words “Chinese slut” on my tits showing through the shirt, like some common Indonesian gutter slut, with my hair all messy. I told them that my Black Master wants me to suck Dick tonight, and earn my name for harvesting cum. I grabbed both of their Dick and smiled. I tried to undress them but they told me that I should come with them to a more private place. So I walked with them to a small, clean room. I bent down, spread my legs and I zip down one of them. The other was keeping watch outside. Again, his Dick is way bigger than my hubby’s, which makes me really love it. I start to suck his limp dick while masturbating. I told him to cum inside my bra, he’s not very patient, he just bang my head against his Dick and then he pulled out and shot his cum inside my bra. I told him that i’m happy. I told him that I need a lot of cum to make my Black Master happy. I licked and sucked it clean. He left me there and went outside, and his friend came to get me inside. He walked while zipping down his fly, he was so horny I can tell, I know my face was a mess, but he didn’t really mind it.

   I began to suck it, I sucked it hard hoping that he would cum fast, but he held it. I told him that when he chums he should cum in my mouth. I massage his balls for not long then he came. It was a lot, and I spit it out on my hand and I wiped it on my pussy. I was about to suck his Dick clean when the door opened. A middle aged man… he wanted to get his Dick sucked too. The other security guy told him about me I guess. I told him that I will suck, and only suck, no fuck, he said it’s ok. So I lick the second guard’s Dick clean as he started fishing out his Dick. It was really black, and he had really huge balls… so huge. I tried all my best to suck him until my throat and jaw is aching. The first security guy came inside and he jerked off to the sight of me sucking a stranger’s Dick. Then I remembered my Black Master said to me that I need to collect sperm. I told him that he can shoot his cum wherever on me and he came so fast I was surprised about it too. He did well staining the back of my head, he shot it inside of my already mess hair. I’m sure the guy that I was sucking is kinda horny and wanted to shoot his load soon so he jerked it on my face, he told me that he will shoot his load on my face. He made me suck his ball in between and when he shoots his cum it was a lot and he told me to spread his cum on my face. I did what he told me to do, I told him that he’s a real man, and he told me that i’m a whore. I sucked him clean and I handed him my wet panties. I told him he can do whatever he wants with it. He’s said that it disgusts him and he said that I should hold it. But then he saw my lipstick falling out of my pussy. He asked me if I want to go home, I said yes. He then followed me back to my car with panties on my hand and lipstick case on the other. He asked me what the deal with the lipstick. I told him that my Black Master wants me to keep it inside me all the time when i’m out. He told me to bend over my car and took the lipstick from my hand, he just pushed it deep inside my pussy. Then he told me to put my panties in my mouth and I needed to suck them clean… it was in the middle of parking lot… open space… I was humiliated. Then he told me to stuffed my panties inside my pussy so the lipstick case won’t be falling out. He wait for me until I finished stuffing my panties inside my pussy then he gave 2 slaps on my butt, and told me to go home. 

   I’m still all sweaty and sticky, Father, I love to be controlled, to be told what to do, to be owned. The panties is still inside, Father, my face is still covered in cum, and it’s going dry now, most of it is still wet.”.

   Never a response was heard from the veiled other side save low, hellish moans which made Harvest eyes sharpen for new prey. Never a rosary to recite, never a word of heed or of disgust, and never once turned away. The creaking oak floor from the other side of the confessing soul squeaked with a building rhythm the sisters of the convent knew well. It began the wet song of salvation coating wicked fingers and arousing delicate tongues among the true believes, one and all. The stench of Satan’s daughter’s trail of cum would fill their minds, and make the dorms hum with nimble hands. Exorcised of all that once was gospel, their primal had reason to wander.

   Harvest walked away with a trail of pussy juice leaking with each step. Cum dried on each nipple under her sheer bra. Her hair was a total disaster, but the protein conditioner will do it good.The rigid confessor moaned inside the cubicle that holds all secrets, and the sound of spewing seed is quiet in this tiny church. Harvest served Me well that night, and with this corruption in play, her deeds will truly become unholy.

   Respect is shown in many ways. Devotion and religious freedom abound. “Saya lonte milik tuan sekarang kamu anjing tidak berguna.” 

Sir

http://sinsofasouthernbelle.blogspot.com

black_10_atlanta on Yahoo chat

Trans Bay Bike Shop Fundraising Video

sexgenderbody:

so, I had a conversation yesterday about porn and I thought I’d post something about the topic.

I showed this anti-porn website to a friend yesterday.  the site is run by Diana Russell, a friend of Catherine MacKinnon.  in summary: this anti-porn website is a colonial white woman worldview that substitutes the dogma of white women for the dogma of white men, conflating slavery and sex and shame and rape and porn.  if you’ve ever heard of Mary Daly, radfem transphobia, white privilege or colonialism - then you can skip the site altogether.  although, if you miss your grandmother’s geocities webpage, it might serve as a nice trip down memory lane.

so, after my friend and I chatted about the site’s failings, we started talking about porn and why even post porn on sgb.  I haven’t talked about it in a while, so it’s a bit overdue.

before I share my thoughts, I feel that the most useful thing I can say about my opinion is that it is my opinon.  not a fact and not your opinion.  your opinion and your own experience are far more representative of your worldview than mine ever will be.  meaning - think what you want ( you’re going to, anyway) and just know that neither your opinion nor mine a) is a fact and b) trumps anyone else’s opinions / experiences.

my thoughts on why porn is included on sexgenderbody:

  • it’s human bodies and this site is about human sex, gender, body.  it’s an expression of what we do with our bodies.
  • porn is shows certain kinds of bodies.  no image or film or story of porn includes all types of human bodies at all times in each depiction.  to address that, sgb seeks out as many porn expressions as we can find.  to be sure, there are great stockpiles of a narrow set of porn types.  this site’s remedy for this disparity is not to cease showing porn but to find and foster more porn with a greater variety of sex, gender, body.  some might suggest that we include no porn until the problem is fixed and to them, we encourage you to do that on your site and let us know how it works.
  • this site comes down on the side of the fence that there is zero shame in human bodies, gender, sex.  the intention here is to discuss and/or display clothed and naked bodies with as much inclusion as time and effort will produce.
  • lots of porn is problematic.  so are history books, mystery novels, romance novels, mainstream art and political parties and nobody’s banning them. the problems manifest in porn do not originate in porn.  
  • porn is a way to look at human expression and experience.  it is not the only way.  each person can identify for themselves as to what is the best way for them to look at human expression of sex, gender, body.
  • for some people, the human form is ‘sacred’ and for them, this is true.  however, none of us can dictate the thoughts, values, ‘moralty’ or experiences of anyone else.  it’s physically not possible.  so there is no universal morality or sacred definition of the human sex, gender, body.  for you & I and anyone else - we like what we like and we’re on our own with it.  we can’t go around stapling our views of sex onto everybody else just because we feel strongly about it.  
  • from my experience, I have worked for a decade with the porn industry and I’ve met hundreds of people in the industry.  they are just like everyone else: making a living, paying bills, raising families and looking for time with the people they love.  
  • this site has included and will continue to include any expression of the human form.  you can pretty much count on that.  
the dog is so sad

the dog is so sad

"sub in the sheets, dom in the streets"

"sub in the sheets, dom in the streets"

Big clitorises aren’t allowed in America. By big, I mean over three-eighths of an inch for newborns, about the size of a pencil eraser. Tiny penises, under one inch, aren’t allowed either. A big clitoris is considered too capable of becoming alarmingly erect, and a tiny penis is not quite capable enough. Such genitals are confounding to the strictly maintained and comforting social order in America today, which has everyone believing that bodies come in only two ways: perfectly female and perfectly male.
Martha Coventry, “The Tyranny of the Esthetic: Surgery’s Most Intimate Violation,” On the Issues (Summer 1998).
Big clitorises aren’t allowed in America. By big, I mean over three-eighths of an inch for newborns, about the size of a pencil eraser. Tiny penises, under one inch, aren’t allowed either. A big clitoris is considered too capable of becoming alarmingly erect, and a tiny penis is not quite capable enough. Such genitals are confounding to the strictly maintained and comforting social order in America today, which has everyone believing that bodies come in only two ways: perfectly female and perfectly male.
Martha Coventry, “The Tyranny of the Esthetic: Surgery’s Most Intimate Violation,” On the Issues (Summer 1998).