Thank you for reading the site and your kind words. Thank you even more for the generosity of your trust in asking such a personal question.
I will ask any readers to reply / reblog / answer with your own thoughts on this question.
From my perspective, I have some past history of picking / chewing at myself. I had warts, fungal infections on my feet and hands for probably the first 15-20 years of my life. I chewed / tore at my fingernails until I was at least 20. I can remember the uncontrollable picking, as if it were 5 minutes ago. Reading this from you, while your situation is not mine, I do feel some kinship with what you speak of. I didn’t feel good about my body then or much in control of what I was doing to it.
Regarding how to approach / interact / be with your husband and your self in some way that includes this aspect of your life, I suggest the following for your consideration:
I hope this helps,
I cannot see any way in which her withholding of your wig is acceptable.
so, I had a conversation yesterday about porn and I thought I’d post something about the topic.
I showed this anti-porn website to a friend yesterday. the site is run by Diana Russell, a friend of Catherine MacKinnon. in summary: this anti-porn website is a colonial white woman worldview that substitutes the dogma of white women for the dogma of white men, conflating slavery and sex and shame and rape and porn. if you’ve ever heard of Mary Daly, radfem transphobia, white privilege or colonialism - then you can skip the site altogether. although, if you miss your grandmother’s geocities webpage, it might serve as a nice trip down memory lane.
so, after my friend and I chatted about the site’s failings, we started talking about porn and why even post porn on sgb. I haven’t talked about it in a while, so it’s a bit overdue.
before I share my thoughts, I feel that the most useful thing I can say about my opinion is that it is my opinon. not a fact and not your opinion. your opinion and your own experience are far more representative of your worldview than mine ever will be. meaning - think what you want ( you’re going to, anyway) and just know that neither your opinion nor mine a) is a fact and b) trumps anyone else’s opinions / experiences.
my thoughts on why porn is included on sexgenderbody:
- it’s human bodies and this site is about human sex, gender, body. it’s an expression of what we do with our bodies.
- porn is shows certain kinds of bodies. no image or film or story of porn includes all types of human bodies at all times in each depiction. to address that, sgb seeks out as many porn expressions as we can find. to be sure, there are great stockpiles of a narrow set of porn types. this site’s remedy for this disparity is not to cease showing porn but to find and foster more porn with a greater variety of sex, gender, body. some might suggest that we include no porn until the problem is fixed and to them, we encourage you to do that on your site and let us know how it works.
- this site comes down on the side of the fence that there is zero shame in human bodies, gender, sex. the intention here is to discuss and/or display clothed and naked bodies with as much inclusion as time and effort will produce.
- lots of porn is problematic. so are history books, mystery novels, romance novels, mainstream art and political parties and nobody’s banning them. the problems manifest in porn do not originate in porn.
- porn is a way to look at human expression and experience. it is not the only way. each person can identify for themselves as to what is the best way for them to look at human expression of sex, gender, body.
- for some people, the human form is ‘sacred’ and for them, this is true. however, none of us can dictate the thoughts, values, ‘moralty’ or experiences of anyone else. it’s physically not possible. so there is no universal morality or sacred definition of the human sex, gender, body. for you & I and anyone else - we like what we like and we’re on our own with it. we can’t go around stapling our views of sex onto everybody else just because we feel strongly about it.
- from my experience, I have worked for a decade with the porn industry and I’ve met hundreds of people in the industry. they are just like everyone else: making a living, paying bills, raising families and looking for time with the people they love.
- this site has included and will continue to include any expression of the human form. you can pretty much count on that.