allyship without critical thought and critique is a type of allyship i fundamentally don’t want.
i don’t want allies who are not critical of the cause they are championing for.
i don’t want allies who take on the symbols and agendas of organizations with histories of fucked up, transphobic, classicist, and racist behavior without having grappling with those histories as much as many of us who decide not to champion for marriage equality the HRC way have. to be my “ally” means you have wrestled with those troubling histories, over and over again. not once. not for five minutes. but over and over again.
and fundamentally you have made the choice that marriage equality is important, but there are ways to support marriage equality without erasing the equally legitimate concerns of people who fall under the LGBT umbrella and don’t see marriage equality as the most important issue.
i don’t want allies who are so lost in their fervor to bleed red espouse the same trickle down, wait your turn, your day will come equality rhetoric the HRC and many organizations solely concerned with gay and lesbian marriage equality do, all the while maintaining their label “champion of equality”
i don’t want allies who want holidays, special days, special buttons, special colors, special time out of my struggle for liberation to be acknowledged and thanked over and over again. you don’t become an ally for the pretty buttons or the t-shirts. this isn’t a kony pony sort of deal.
i don’t want allies who center themselves in the movement. have straight people ever asked themselves why media coverage of marriage equality focuses on YOUR creative signage for the cause? YOUR involvement in the movement? why are you continuing to take up space in a movement that advocates for something you already have and benefit from regardless of what the supreme court rules on? step back and let the gay and lesbian actors of marriage equality take center stage. nobody should care about your ability to recognize the idea that “Jesus had two dads and he turned out okay” for example.
i don’t want allies who espouse the same fucked up rhetoric of GAY IS THE NEW BLACK. ONCE UPON A TIME INTERRACIAL MARRIAGES WERE ILLEGAL TOO.
Newsflash, the civil rights movement may be over but black liberation hasn’t come and despite being legalized interracial relationships are not necessarily given any better treatment in our society.
i don’t want allies whose understanding of LGBT issues begins and ends with marriage equality. if i can’t talk to you about HIV/AIDS, youth homelessness, queer and trans incarceration, cis-supremacy (or what some people call cissexism), survival for QTPOC, disability rights, labor rights, racism, and dismantling oppression from a decolonized praxis, just to name a few, then you’re essentially telling me the steam train runs out after marriage equality has been accomplished and back to your life you will go.
i don’t want straight allies who are incapable of being critical
and i really have no use for queer and trans folks who want to bleed red and not be critical
again i say, allyship without critical thought and critique is a type of allyship i fundamentally don’t want.