sexgenderbody

Of Course Ladies Want Dudes’ Sperm! They’re Going To Construct Alien-y Things From It. Or Something.

(Via Manboobz)

Remember that scene in Dr. Strangelove in which General Jack D. Ripper starts ranting about a  “international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids?”Gen. Ripper, of course, was worried about the purported evils of fluoridation. Also, he was a fictional character. But now the “manosphere” has done him one better. A recent post on the Muslim Patriarch blog suggests, with utmost sincerity, that women never truly love men — they just love our most precious bodily fluid. Sperm.  

Yep. Fellas, apparently we’re nothing but giant sperm repositories to the ladies. So what evidence has the Muslim Patriarch, aka Samvel Arshavir, got for his novel theory? He claims that his wife seems to treat him worst after the two of them have sex, when his “sperm reserves” are largely depleted. (Emphasis added.)

 

On the days immediately following an ejaculation, my wife loses all love and respect for me. She treats me like garbage. … I used to think that I have done something wrong for her to so suddenly lose all love for me. …

When I finally understood what was going on, when I understood that it all depended on the amount of sperm stored inside of me, I saw the humor in this love that everyone talks about. …Her love is just a way that nature tells me I have a lot of sperm in my reserves.

Arshavir notes that he hasn’t exactly done the scientific experimentation to prove his new theory. But he has made some careful observations:

My idea of ‘sperm reserve’ isn’t related to anything that scientists say. It is something I have found with experience. If you ejaculate twice or more in one day, the next day your reserves will be around 10%. Women have two terms for this level: douche bag and loser. On day 2 your reserves will go up to 25%. Day 3 they will be at 40%. Day 4 at 50%. As your levels pass 50%, women will start respecting you and finding you attractive. At around two to three weeks of abstinence your levels will have gone to 90%. And when you get a wet dream … you can then know that your levels reached 100%. The night before the wet dream you will be at your most irresistible-to-women phase.

As a former horny teenage boy, I respectfully must disagree with some of his calculations here: the male body seems capable of producing almost endless quantities of sperm upon demand. 

But this is a question for the scientists amongst us to debate. Arshavir  has bigger fish to fry. His revelations about ladies and sperm have led him to question some of the most fundamental tenets of heterosexual love. 

When I have 10 days worth of sperm saved inside of me, when my wife wants to make love to me three times a day, it doesn’t any longer make me feel good about myself, because I now see that it is not an accomplishment. It is not because I am an awesome guy. It is just her animal nature responding to my biology.

This knowledge has freed me from the biggest fraud of our age. The fraud that tells us men to seek happiness in a woman’s love. What a joke.

Ah, but there is a complication here. Unlike sperm-loving women, Arshavir argues, men still can feel love for the ladies. True love, not just crude ovary lust. The only trouble is that those sperm-loving creatures don’t really deserve our love. 

Ours is the spiritual love for another being. Theirs is the love for our biology. Their love for our sperm reserves could have easily been a love for big muscles. In both cases it is a purely physical love—nothing that deserves our spiritual love.

So where can a poor fellow find true love today? Dudes. 

And I now realize why men like W. S. Maugham become homosexual after delving deep into the nature of women. Once you know that romantic love doesn’t make sense to women … the next logical step is to find a man to love.

If you look for true love, you can only find it in another man.

Wait — “another man?” Seriously? That sounds a little — what’s the word I’m looking for here? — gay. Isn’t this blog titled “Muslim Patriarch?” But don’t worry. Our intrepid patriarchal blogger hasn’t gone all gay on us. He is quick to add the obligatory “NO HOMO,” in the parlance of our times. Love other men, but just do it in a totally non-gay way. 

The idea of having sex with another man is utterly disgusting to me. The mistake of men like Maugham is that they fail to separate love from sex. …

The correct thing to do as I see it is to save our deep, romantic and spiritual feelings of love for male friends, while maintaining sexual relationships with women. …

Apparently, men are from Mars, women are for penis. 

[A] man’s romantic love is completely wasted on women. … Had you used your love on another man, you’d have gotten a loving friend for life. With a woman, no matter how much love you spend on her, her love for you will be no more than your sperm-reserve levels. … 

A healthy culture would have taught us men to love other men, and would have taught us not to take women seriously.

This man’s wife is lucky indeed.

EDIT: More on ladies and their sperm-love here.

Feminism Is SO Evil! Gasp! It Makes Women Over Say 40 Years Of Age Think They Can Still Have Sex!

A fiftysomething British woman is seduced and abandoned (and ripped off to the tune of £40,000) by a twentysomething con man, and it’s all the fault of … feminism? The Elusive Wapiti, a right-wing Men’s-Rightsy blog, writes about the case of one British woman let herself be charmed by a sweet-talking young fellow on Match.com and, despite an endless stream of obvious lies from him which should have kept the alarm bells in her head ringing continuously, agreed to meet him in South Africa, and ultimately hand over a huge chunk of her life’s savings to him. Her actions were incredibly stupid; the story is pathetic and sad. 

And according to The Elusive Wapiti, feminism is to blame. And it actually kind of is. But not for the reason Wapiti thinks:  

Today’s exhibit is a Brit named Caroline Gates-Fleming, a twice-divorced middle-aged woman desperate to maintain her relevance in a culture that, thank you feminism, shackles feminine worth to her ability to attract a man.

Huh? Apparently I’m not up-to-date on the latest anti-feminist stereotypes. I thought feminists were all supposed to be man-hating lesbians, living alone with their cats and their “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” posters. But apparently it’s feminism — not, say, our sexist society — that makes women feel like they’re nothing without a man. Wapiti continues:

Hilarity ensues when a being that is accustomed to easy-come-easy-go male attention since the age of 15 experiences the shock of watching her attractiveness slowly die, after decades of taking it for granted and kicking perfectly good men to the curb.

The “perfectly good men” are her ex-husbands, though I’m not sure how Wapiti has determined that she cast them off for no good reason. No matter, Wapiti is just warming up. He returns to his main theme: Feminism bad! 

[T]hanks to feminism, the old morality that once protected women from the siren song of their gonads has been stripped away. Used to be that women in their late 40s / early 50s were respectable housewives and grandmothers in stable if somewhat less than satisfying marriages, and slut-shaming and other social conventions kept them there, safely ensconced.

Ah, the good old days, when women stayed married, no matter how miserable they were, and gave up their sexual desires once they hit, say, the age of 47. 

Now we discover that supposedly mature women instantly morph into priapic young boys—subbing vulvas for penises of course—given the right stimulation to their egos and hopes of emotional intimacy long since gone.

Damn you, evil feminism, for convincing women they might possibly have sex in their late 40s or — gasp! — older! Quite possibly with younger men! I mean, it’s not like men in their late 40s ever want to have sex with women younger than they are. I have never, ever heard of that happening, ever.

EDIT: Added a sentence in the second paragraph to make my point clearer. 

(via man boobz)