How do we know if we are in a conversation about rape prevention?
- If the subject is the rapist, that is rape PREVENTION
- If the subject is people being raped, that is rape PERMISSION
In Vietnam, the U.S Military Command made rape ‘socially acceptable’ in fact, it was unwritten, but clear policy. When GIs were encouraged to rape Vietnamese women and girls (and they were sometimes advised to “search” women “with their penises”) a weapon of mass political terrorism was forged. Since the Vietnamese women were distinguished by their heroic contributions to their people’s liberation struggle, the military retaliation specifically suited for them was rape. While women were hardly immune to the violence inflicted on men, they were especially singled out as victims of terrorism by a sexist military force governed by the principle that was exclusively a man’s affair.
“I saw one case where a woman was shot by a sniper, one of our snipers” a GI said.
“When we got up to her she was asking for water. And the lieutenant said to kill her. So he ripped her clothes, they stabbed her in both breasts, they spread her eagle and shoved an E tool (entrenching) up her vagina. And then they took that out and used a tree limb and she was shot”
In the same way that rape was an institutionalized ingredient of aggression carried out against the Vietnamese people, designed to intimidate and terrorize the women, slave owners encouraged the terroristic use of rape to put Black women in their place. If Black women had achieved a sense of their own strength and a strong urge to resist, the violent sexual assaults —so the slaveholders might have reasoned— would remind the women of their essential and inalterable femaleness. In the male supremacist vision of the period, this meant passivity, acquiescence and weakness. Women, Race & Class (1981)- Angela Davis (via malditafeminista)
Dating Tip: People in wheelchairs are less likely to run away from you
Dating tip: You’re a creepy, rapist, ableist asshole.
Here’s the real reason that rape jokes are troubled territory –
Because the rape victims say so.
They get to say that. They get to feel that way. On this, they can set the cultural rules.
It’s not about right or wrong, or logic versus emotion, or arguments of oversensitivity and hypocrisy — you have the free speech to make whatever jokes you want or talk about rape in whatever way you feel is illuminating. But they get to be upset about it. And call you on it. And be hurt by it.
But consider this:
You get to not be a rape victim.
They, however, are not afforded that luxury. Ever again.
That may be the most important consideration of them all.
Chuck Wendig is my hero (x)
Today was supposed to be a wonderful day. I was finally going to sleep with the guy I’ve wanted to be with for months and it was going to be perfect. Everything was going to be absolutely perfect.
NOPE. Vagina would not cooperate. Like, not even a pinky finger would get in without excruciating pain. And all I could think about was how someone I actually really like, someone I legitimately wanted to be with, couldn’t even get a FINGER up there, but some asshole managed to shove his entire fucking cock inside me in spite of me crying and fighting. It isn’t fair. It is not fucking fair that he managed to take away my choice back then and is STILL doing it two years later without even trying.
Joseph handled it really well, and I managed to keep my composure until I left so I guess he just thinks I was nervous. I hadn’t been nervous at all - I had a lot of intimacy issues when I was still with my ex but by the end of our relationship I was able to consistently have sex without any issues. So I figured I was better for good and had absolutely nothing to worry about. Apparently not.
I completely broke down when I got home. I ended up cutting my inner thigh and there’s no way that cut is going to close without stitches, especially with all the walking I do. So tomorrow I have to go to the clinic first thing in the morning instead of going to work.
And now I want nothing to do with Joseph. He did absolutely nothing wrong but I just don’t want him to touch me. I don’t want anyone to touch me. I just want to curl up in bed with my doors locked and hope that no one will ever hurt me again.
**WARNING: Molestation, Victim Blaming, Rape, Child Abuse**
I was 2 when I was molested. Guess what I was doing? Breathing. When I was 12 a family friend (65 if he was a day), tried to convince me I was ready for sex. Lots of inappropriate comments on my body, attempts to kiss me, touching that was not okay etc. Know what I was doing? Breathing in his car every week when he picked me up from the places my dying grandfather couldn’t drive to anymore. I will cut your fucking heart out if you try to fix your mouth to blame a child for being victimized.
I was 7 when it happened the first time. 11 when I was gang raped. 13 when I was raped again. It was never the same person yet they seemed to all have the same mentality. “Say thank you” “You wanted it” “Tell anyone and they won’t believe you”. Fuck you very much. If I ever needed proof for how shitty humans are …
MRA assholes are a whole ‘nother category of assholery. Valiant men are always the victims of those wanton Jezebels; it justifies all manner of misogyny to them.
This could be any guy, it’s awful and terrifying.
Basically, it seems like most guys IRL think like this and (many of them) just keep it to themselves until they’re on reddit or 4chan or with other dudebros or whatever. This is scary. This is dangerous. These men are out and about, we meet them in public.
This is why I have TWO (count ‘em) male friends: my amazing boyfriend and one of his friends. No matter how many “I’m not sexist!!!” men I meet, they’ve ALL actually been sexist except those two. Even those two can have some minor misconceptions now and then, but they know to shut their mouths and listen when a woman is talking about being a woman, so we’re all good.
The worst is when you have group of straight, cis men since this pretty much emboldens them to act/speak very badly. They usually can’t stand having me around because I throw off the dynamic of their group, which is really fine by me.(via noocyte)
TW: Coercion is rape
Why didn’t anyone ever tell me that sexual coercion = rape? How could I have been raped…on nearly a daily basis for almost 2 years no less?!
When rape comes into my mind I think of violent and aggressive times of someone forcing themselves onto another. Not my ex telling me, “If you loved me, then you’d have sex with me”, or “If you don’t have sex with me, I’ll find another girl that will”.
But it makes so much sense. The entire first time we had sex I cried. He knew but didn’t stop. And once I had sex with him, I felt so disgusting and guilty. Even now I still feel so violated! And I knew from that point forward, I’d never be able to tell him no again.
And when I did, boy did he get pissed off! It wasn’t worth fighting with him, so I just did it. I laid there and was an inactive participant for the most part. I never came on to him because I didn’t want to have sex and that made him more mad. “You never come onto me and that makes me think that you don’t love me.”
God, it was terrible. But it makes sense. The thoughts about it, not wanting to be touched, the nightmares I have, the fear that I feel…all of it. It makes so much sense. Today, after being away from him for almost 3 years I have come to the realization that I was raped. And it scares the holy living hell out of me.
Simply put, we live in a rape culture where as long as the word “no” is not heard and she doesn’t fight back, it isn’t rape. I was under the impression that it was my fault I let him bully me into it and that it was my fault that I didn’t say no.
Brave words, brave realization. Rape is very rarely a stranger in an ally holding you down while you scream “no!” and struggle.
It looks exactly like this. The typical rape victim isn’t immediately sure they were raped. They wonder and worry. The typical person who wasn’t raped never considers the possibility.
So if you’re wondering whether or not you were raped, consider it carefully, because the fact that you’re wondering is likely an indication.
You know, it took me months after I broke up with him to realize that my ex molested me and would have raped me if I hadn’t finally torn his hands off me and burst out of the room. I should have broken up with him then. And you know, I met this guy at an event associated with Slut Walk. He was actually a performer of his own vocal poetry against rape culture, and was wearing drag. So I figured I’d be safe from him, but nope. And now he’s still trying to act like my friend—UGH. I hope I have the strength to punch him the next time I see him in person.