You should date a boy who reads. Date a boy who never asks what you spend your money on, because unless you’re going to murder him with it it’s none of his damn business. Date a boy who won’t go through your closet. Date a boy who will use his library card to research how the patriarchy encourages men to disrespect women’s boundries.
Find a boy who reads. You’ll know he does because he’s never talking that shit about “what was she wearing” and “girls only like douchebags” and “check out my sweet-ass fedora”. He’s the one rolling his eyes at the John Green display, the one reblogging your posts about black feminism with that “tell me more” gif from Grease.
He’s the boy who doesn’t invite himself into your personal space; he’s the boy who waits to be invited. When he asks about your book, he’s asking about your book, and when you tell him to hit the bricks, he is the boy who nods, smiles, and Rocky Balboas into the concrete.
You already have a cup of coffee.
Let him know what you think of the word “friendzone”. See if he thinks misandry is real. Understand that if he thinks you’re just trying to sound as intelligent as he is, he’s never even read Ulysses. Ask him to leave you alone with Alice.
If he lies to you?
Date a boy who respects you.
Date a boy who reads.
Once when I was at the pool, two boys (who looked 14) kept telling me to take my swimsuit off and threw things at my boobs and commented on how jiggly they were. I eventually scared them off by glaring at them for 5 minutes straight.
(submitted by anonymous)
The other night I had an incredibly surreal experience. I am part of the Facebook group Wipeout Sexism on FB which posts links to other Facebook pages which contain sexist, explicit, or indecent content with the intention of having the pages removed.
On Tuesday night I saw a post by this group calling out a page called “Muslim Sluts”, so I navigate to the page with the intention of reporting it. But on my way something caught my eye. On the timeline of this group I see what I recognise as a piece of artwork by the London artist Sarah Maple.
If you are familiar with any of Maple’s work you may have noticed that, along with a feminist theme, she also explores her own ethnicity, particularly in combination with a Western upbringing. The piece in question (shown) is named “White Girl”, and is a self-portrait. In the image she is wearing a Hijab paired with pillar box red lipstick, a lit cigarette dangling from her fingertips. This work is a personal favourite, juxtaposing Western symbols of sexuality and divergence with a typically Islamic symbol of modesty.
I was struck by the bitter irony of the presence of this work on such a page, particularly as the caption read “WOW :D WHAT A GREAT SLUT, ;)
”. But worse were the pictures of other women, some in various states of undress, some entirely clothed. If a piece of art can be used in this way, virtually unnoticed, without the knowledge or permission of the artist, it is very likely that many of the girls in these photos have no idea that their images are being used in this way.
One picture in particular caught my attention. It was of two young women, seemingly at a wedding or some kind of social occasion, in colourful clothing (which, may I add, covered their bodies entirely), just smiling at the camera. No raised eyebrows, no red lipstick, no cleavage, nothing overtly provocative whatsoever. It was clear that the people commenting and liking and perusing this page needed no excuse to objectify or sexualise. There was no red flag to the bull. The idea of judging women for what they wear, how they present themselves is no new phenomena, but what I say on this page was far more troubling. These men weren’t judging these women on their clothes or their makeup, they didn’t care if the girls were fully clothed or half naked. These women were sluts because they were women.
I messaged Maple to let her know about the use of her image and told her about the images of other women, and she swiftly got back to me, appalled at what she had seen on the page, appreciative of being made aware of this. The page appears to have since been removed, but there are other pages like it, and it serves as a troubling indicator that misogyny needs no excuse.
There need to need to be enough senior women politicians and broadcasters that their cleavages and their shoes become un-noteworthy," she said. "The real test for a critical mass is when there are as many mediocre women at the top of our businesses as there are men.